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avatar KmAXM 8 year.agoA little black Jewish boy says to his daddy, "Dad am I more black or Jewish?" "Why do you ask?", says the Dad. The boy says, "Well a guy at school has a bike for sale for $150 and I can't decide if I want to haggle him down to $100 or just steal it."

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Why don't footballers sweat during a football match?

'Cause they are surrounded by fans.

2. Do you think when Kobe's helicopter crashed the pilot yelled "Kobe"?

3. Why did God invent yeast infections?

So woman know what its like living with an irritating cunt

4. Don’t text and drive at the same time

You could accidentally mak a typo

5. what do you call fear of retarded people

transphobia

6. LPT: A bullet to the head cures depression.

7. We should respect the fat acceptance movement for how unique it is.

It's the only movement without movement.

8. What does a leaky diaper and women have in common?

They both can't keep their shit together

9. Why do black people have white palms?

There’s a little bit of good in everyone.

10. I think only black people should cops problem solved. Though it would require showing up to a job, driving a car that wasn't stolen, not robbing the place where you get your doughnuts, taking drugs from people not just taking drugs and paying for stuff out of your own wallet not everyone else's.

11. Jake Paul so ugly

He's gonna come out of prison a virgin

12. Someone asked my girlfriend how deep is she?

I replied 6ft

13. What has 2016 and 2020 got in common ?

Outrage over the unjust killing of a gorilla

14. What is the difference between little children and black people?

I don't want to touch black people

15. What do gay hippies in Western countries and Middle East have in common?

They all get stoned.

16. What do you call an Asian prostitute?

Dat Phat Ho

17. What’s about six inches, pink, and my girlfriend cries when I put it in her mouth

Her aborted baby

18. How much is the real Vatican's GPD?

Nobody knows. Epstein took that secret to his grave.

19. What would MLK be called if he was alive today?

Martin Looter King

20. What's the difference between Batman and black people?

Batman can go out without robin.

21. What's the highest amount of time a black man hold his breath?

8 minutes and 46 seconds

22. Why’d do black people call why white people Honky?

It’s the last noise they hear before we run em over!

23. At school I used to bully the kid who had brittle bone disease.

Then one day he just snapped.

24. I Don’t normally laugh at jokes about dead people

But this one George Floyd Joke was so funny it literally took my breath away

25. Black lives have always mattered

They kept the cotton business booming in the 1800s

26. Midgets don't like being called Midgets.

And they really REALLY don't like being called "People McNuggets."

27. A woman who is half Asian and half muslim...

Tried to fly a plane into a building, as all muslims do, but missed and hit a parked car because she's an asian woman driver. Thank you.

28. A fire broke out at a Weight Watchers meeting today.

Members could be heard screaming, "Walk for your lives!"

29. What do cigarettes and Jeffree Star have in common?

They are both fags I would smoke

30. KFC is now really scraping the bottom of the barrel and has started a new campaign to target Downs customers.

It's window-lickin' good.

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